I went out with some friends the other night to have some weekend fun, like any other young adult. Everything was going fine until we were hit with reality at the bar: a $60 bill for just three drinks.
A couple days later, I had a meal with a friend at a pretty popular chain restaurant, and just the lunch special cost me $20. When you account for gas, parking, and whatever else pops up during a hang session, going out with friends might as well be a decent trip out of town.
As college students, we’re constantly told that our 20s are supposed to be the best times of our lives. We’re supposed to be making amazing memories, exploring new places, meeting new people and figuring out who we are. It’s the decade we’re expected to be our wildest.
But somewhere along the way, enjoying our youth has just become another expense that we have to budget for. Seriously, when did having a normal night out become so expensive?
Look, we all need to treat ourselves occasionally. We work hard and deserve to decompress and let loose every now and again. Yet, it feels like there’s this “expectation” that we should constantly be doing something exciting—that if you’re at home on a Friday night just chillin’ on the couch, you’re somehow boring and wasting your precious youth.
“Sometimes I feel like I have to go out just because everyone else is,” said Anahi Diaz, 22, a CSU Long Beach graduate. “It’s not even about wanting to do something. It’s literally just the fear of missing out (FOMO).”
Social media doesn’t help either. Scrolling through Instagram, you’re bound to see your peers living it up on rooftops, an exotic beach, or some other exciting adventure. We start measuring our happiness through the experiences of others.
And as the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy.
When every experience is motivated by a desire for likes and views, it can start to feel like fun isn’t really fun unless there’s something to show for or post.
The issue also goes past social media. Not everyone has the same opportunities to enjoy themselves. Some students work and study long hours just to keep their head above water.
For those students that expectation of going out can clash with the reality of having to juggle school, jobs and responsibilities at home. Between paying for transportation, school supplies and other necessities, having fun drops down the list of priorities.
“It’s hard to justify spending money on a night out when I know I have other things I need to pay for,” said Daniel Lopez, 22, a CSUDH senior. “Even then, when I do have the funds, I’m too tired from work to want to do anything.”
I also find it so frustrating being told to enjoy our youth while simultaneously being expected to work toward a future we can barely afford. We’re encouraged to study hard, gain experience, save money and become financially independent, all while making memories that will last a lifetime.
How in the hell are we supposed to do all of that without feeling like we’re falling behind somewhere?
I’m not saying we’re entitled to expensive dinners, vacations or nights out every weekend. I understand those experiences are considered luxuries to some people. But I also feel like having a social life shouldn’t require the financial stability and freedom many college students don’t have.
It’s not even a conversation about inflation. I just believe we’ve created this image where happiness is tied to how much we’re doing and spending when going out. And that sucks.
“We’ve gotten so used to seeing everyone on social media do these extravagant things that we sadly forget to appreciate the small stuff,” said Salvador Gutierrez, 27, a CSULB senior. “Some of my favorite memories with friends are when we were just chilling on a couch joking around.”
We shouldn’t have to spend our entire youth chasing a lifestyle that leaves us financially exhausted. I don’t think the answer is to give up on those experiences because we can’t afford them. I believe we need to learn to be more intentional about which experiences are actually worth our time and energy.
Looking back at those $60 drinks from the bar, I realize I don’t remember much about them. They were like any other drink I’ve had going out. What I do remember is being out with my friends, dancing, laughing, and just having fun.
Maybe that’s what we should spend our 20s chasing. Not the most exciting stories to post to show off, but the people and moments that make our lives feel full.
We need to be able to find the value in the smaller moments. Because when we’re older, those are going to be the moments we miss the most.