March 29, 2023
  • 12:08 pm Fall Convocation 2022: “The State of this University is Strong”
  • 9:37 pm Ogrin Brings the Thunder in Toros 12-3 rout; team plays for playoff championship tomorrow
  • 7:00 am Outstanding Professor Award Recipient’s Mic Drop Moment at Last Month’s Virtual Ceremony
  • 9:10 am Bookworms of the World Unite!
  • 7:46 pm Breaking News: All Students Living in Campus Housing Required to Receive COVID-19 Vaccine
  • 9:00 am CSUDH Esports Creates International Competition
  • 9:35 am Spring Commencement Ceremonies Get Brighter
  • 3:46 pm Breaking News: Spring Commencement Ceremonies Recieve Stadium Upgrade
  • 8:00 am Testing the Teachers (and All the Educators)
  • 9:30 am CSUDH Educators and School Employees, Vaccinated Next
  • 10:30 am For White People Only: Anti-Racism Workshop Addresses Racial Bias and Unity
  • 2:43 pm Greatness Personified: Remembering Kobe Bryant
  • 10:02 am Straight Down the Chimney and Into Your (Digital) Hands: Special Holiday Edition of The Bulletin!
  • 2:44 pm Did You Wake up Looking this Beautiful?
  • 11:43 am A Long History for University’s Newest Major
  • 5:15 pm Issue 5 of Bulletin Live! Collector’s Item! Worth its Weight in Digital Paper!
  • 4:06 pm Special Election Issue
  • 4:03 pm Three best Latinx Halloween & Horror Short Films available now on HBO Max
  • 9:49 am Issue 3 of CSUDH Bulletin Live if You Want It
  • 3:24 pm Hispanic Heritage Month Update
  • 2:00 pm South Bay Economic Forecast Goes Virtual
  • 3:52 pm BREAKING NEWS: Classes for Spring to be Online, CSU Chancellor Announces
  • 9:39 am “Strikes” and Solidarity
  • 8:30 am March Into History: Just 5 in 1970, CSUDH Growth Shaped by Historic Event
  • 8:30 am Will the Bulletin Make Today Tomorrow?
  • 9:04 am Different Neighborhoods Warrant Rubber Bullets or Traffic Control For Protesters
  • 5:07 pm STAFF EDITORIAL: Even Socially Distant, We All Have to Work Together
  • 5:47 pm Transcript of CSUDH President Parham’s Coronavirus Announcement
  • 10:46 am Cal State Long Beach Suspends Face-to-Face Classes; CSUDH Discussing Contingency Plans
  • 5:26 pm Things Black People Should be Able to Get Away with This Month
  • 10:25 am Latinx Students Need a Place to Call Home
  • 2:35 pm Will Time Run Out Before Funds for PEGS? [UPDATED]
  • 8:41 am Year of the Rat? What’s That?
  • 6:20 am Artist Who Gave Life to Death and Inspired Countless Others Gets His Due at Dominguez Hills
  • 5:16 pm Why I’m Rooting for Dr. Cornel West
  • 5:00 pm Under Fire from the Feds, Vaping’s Future is Cloudy
  • 3:28 pm We’re Going to Need a Bigger Boat; Tsunami 3.0 Hits Campus, Enrollment Swells
  • 4:48 pm University Weathering a Wave of New Students
  • 9:21 pm The Bulletin’s Public Records Request Offers Springboard to Launch Gender Equity Discussion at CSUDH
  • 4:27 pm Black is the New Black: Raising the Capital on the “B” Word
  • 10:53 am Guns Up for Arrest: Student advocacy group pushes for CSU No Gun Zones–Including the Police
  • 4:09 pm Staff Editorial: Words on the First
  • 8:42 pm Carson Mayor Blasts Media, Landmark Libel Case in Keynote Address
  • 9:27 am Free Speech Week Calendar of Events Update
  • 6:02 am Food for Thought: 40% of Students are Food Insecure
  • 3:12 pm Academic Senate Rejects CSU GE Task Force & Report
  • 3:06 pm Work To Be Done
  • 5:56 pm ASI Elections: What You Need to Know
  • 8:02 pm CSUDH President Parham Announces Cancer Diagnosis
  • 9:47 am CSUDH Art Professor’s 20-Year Journey Results in First Local Showing of Film
  • 9:13 pm Free Speech or Free Hate area?
  • 9:08 pm CSUDH’s Best & Brightest Shine at Student Research Day
  • 9:05 pm Academic Senate Approves Gender Equity Task Force
  • 12:37 pm When Dr. Davis speaks, Toros Pay Close Attention
  • 3:38 pm Investing in the Future: Dr. Thomas A. Parham Reflects on the Past Eight Months and Contemplates​ the University’s Future
  • 3:24 pm Green Olive to Open By End of Feb; Starbucks Not Until Fall
  • 3:20 pm Gov. Newsom’s Proposed Budget Hailed for Extensive Funding Increases
  • 3:08 pm Out of the Classroom: Labor and Community Organizing Course Aims to Teach Students How to Organize for Social Justice
  • 2:54 pm The Other Route in Professional Sports
  • 9:02 am Hail to the New Chief, CSUDH President Thomas Parham
  • 3:36 pm Career Center Holds Major/Minor Fair
  • 5:34 pm After Unexpected Delay, Undocumented Becomes More Intimate Theatrical Production
  • 1:30 pm What to Expect When You’re Expecting New Buildings
  • 4:00 pm Perception Is Key
  • 4:00 pm Celebrating Women’s History Month Toro Style
  • 4:00 pm The Algorithms of the Internet are Biased
  • 4:00 pm Taking a Look at J. Cole’s Lyrics
  • 4:00 pm The Adventures of Pablo EscoBear

The anxieties that come with becoming a senior and reminding myself to not panic. Photo by Tonik on Unsplash.

By Leah Quintero, Staff Reporter.

Ever since I was younger I have always been diligent when it came to my education because I always had a plan. If I didn’t have one I would fall off track and growing up as a kid without any strong parental guidance, for my own sake I couldn’t have that. 

So I planned everything out. From when I’d complete my homework to when I could rest. I planned out the jobs I might want to pursue. What I didn’t plan is the uncertainty of going into my senior year and not knowing what the future holds. 

It was when  COVID-19 hit during the second semester of my freshman year that this resilient mindset I had created for myself, slowly started to crumble. There was nowhere to go during quarantine. All I had were my thoughts which nitpicked everything I did to the point where I couldn’t function normally. 

The pieces I crafted so carefully by taking my time to make sure they would not fall apart, were doing just that, and leaving me in a strange state of immense confusion. 

As I walked forward, continuing on with my life to prepare for my senior year of college, the pieces that fell were left behind. 

Now what has filled those empty spots is this overwhelming sense of uncertainty. An uncertainty I ignorantly believed would never apply to me because of how thorough I was in planning my future but little did I know that uncertainty would be knocking on my door as I’m getting ready to go into my senior year.

Having that apply to me is terrifying because being uncertain is risky and as someone who plans things out, the risk isn’t something I particularly like. It’s something that can’t be controlled and control is all I’ve really known. 

With the pressure of being the first one in my family to get this far in college and the stress of helping my father raise my three younger siblings, feeling as though I have no clue what I’m doing with my life, what I want to do with my life, where I want to go and who I want to be, has really made it harder to breathe. 

To me, choosing which classes to take was the easy part. I could choose them ahead of time and determine whether or not they would help me with my degree. They had also been laid out since the moment I chose to pursue a journalism degree by my advisors. The hard part is figuring out whether or not journalism is in fact my calling in life.  

Journalism is and was on the long list of “safe” careers I chose for myself. Seeing journalists go out there and report on the things they saw, intrigued me. I thought I wanted to do that too. I still think I want to be that. 

This is ironic considering I’m writing an opinion piece to be published in CSUDH’s school newspaper, where aspiring journalists alike go to share their own stories and ideas. Yet, this has been my attitude lately. 

Getting this far has been stressful. It’s even more so when I take into account the fact that I still have another lap left to go in this race to the finish line and the uncertainty of what I will do once I reach it continues to grow. 

It’s scary to think I don’t have all the answers this far into the game. It’s even scarier to let myself understand that it’s perfectly okay that I don’t have all the answers. For anyone in the same position I am in, they too probably understand this uncertainty. 

Who knows, maybe all of this is just a fleeting moment that has come with the everyday stressors of life, school, and my sometimes cruel mind, and perhaps that overachieving mindset I once had will come back again. Or maybe it won’t and I’ll have to start from scratch. 

Either way, I’ll continue to move forward, one small step at a time, until I know with certainty, what it is I want to accomplish in my last year and beyond that. 


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