May 28, 2023
  • 12:08 pm Fall Convocation 2022: “The State of this University is Strong”
  • 9:37 pm Ogrin Brings the Thunder in Toros 12-3 rout; team plays for playoff championship tomorrow
  • 7:00 am Outstanding Professor Award Recipient’s Mic Drop Moment at Last Month’s Virtual Ceremony
  • 9:10 am Bookworms of the World Unite!
  • 7:46 pm Breaking News: All Students Living in Campus Housing Required to Receive COVID-19 Vaccine
  • 9:00 am CSUDH Esports Creates International Competition
  • 9:35 am Spring Commencement Ceremonies Get Brighter
  • 3:46 pm Breaking News: Spring Commencement Ceremonies Recieve Stadium Upgrade
  • 8:00 am Testing the Teachers (and All the Educators)
  • 9:30 am CSUDH Educators and School Employees, Vaccinated Next
  • 10:30 am For White People Only: Anti-Racism Workshop Addresses Racial Bias and Unity
  • 2:43 pm Greatness Personified: Remembering Kobe Bryant
  • 10:02 am Straight Down the Chimney and Into Your (Digital) Hands: Special Holiday Edition of The Bulletin!
  • 2:44 pm Did You Wake up Looking this Beautiful?
  • 11:43 am A Long History for University’s Newest Major
  • 5:15 pm Issue 5 of Bulletin Live! Collector’s Item! Worth its Weight in Digital Paper!
  • 4:06 pm Special Election Issue
  • 4:03 pm Three best Latinx Halloween & Horror Short Films available now on HBO Max
  • 9:49 am Issue 3 of CSUDH Bulletin Live if You Want It
  • 3:24 pm Hispanic Heritage Month Update
  • 2:00 pm South Bay Economic Forecast Goes Virtual
  • 3:52 pm BREAKING NEWS: Classes for Spring to be Online, CSU Chancellor Announces
  • 9:39 am “Strikes” and Solidarity
  • 8:30 am March Into History: Just 5 in 1970, CSUDH Growth Shaped by Historic Event
  • 8:30 am Will the Bulletin Make Today Tomorrow?
  • 9:04 am Different Neighborhoods Warrant Rubber Bullets or Traffic Control For Protesters
  • 5:07 pm STAFF EDITORIAL: Even Socially Distant, We All Have to Work Together
  • 5:47 pm Transcript of CSUDH President Parham’s Coronavirus Announcement
  • 10:46 am Cal State Long Beach Suspends Face-to-Face Classes; CSUDH Discussing Contingency Plans
  • 5:26 pm Things Black People Should be Able to Get Away with This Month
  • 10:25 am Latinx Students Need a Place to Call Home
  • 2:35 pm Will Time Run Out Before Funds for PEGS? [UPDATED]
  • 8:41 am Year of the Rat? What’s That?
  • 6:20 am Artist Who Gave Life to Death and Inspired Countless Others Gets His Due at Dominguez Hills
  • 5:16 pm Why I’m Rooting for Dr. Cornel West
  • 5:00 pm Under Fire from the Feds, Vaping’s Future is Cloudy
  • 3:28 pm We’re Going to Need a Bigger Boat; Tsunami 3.0 Hits Campus, Enrollment Swells
  • 1:22 pm THE FIRST ISSUE OF THE BULLETIN IS HERE
  • 4:48 pm University Weathering a Wave of New Students
  • 9:21 pm The Bulletin’s Public Records Request Offers Springboard to Launch Gender Equity Discussion at CSUDH
  • 4:27 pm Black is the New Black: Raising the Capital on the “B” Word
  • 10:53 am Guns Up for Arrest: Student advocacy group pushes for CSU No Gun Zones–Including the Police
  • 4:09 pm Staff Editorial: Words on the First
  • 8:42 pm Carson Mayor Blasts Media, Landmark Libel Case in Keynote Address
  • 9:27 am Free Speech Week Calendar of Events Update
  • 6:02 am Food for Thought: 40% of Students are Food Insecure
  • 3:12 pm Academic Senate Rejects CSU GE Task Force & Report
  • 3:06 pm Work To Be Done
  • 5:56 pm ASI Elections: What You Need to Know
  • 8:02 pm CSUDH President Parham Announces Cancer Diagnosis
  • 9:47 am CSUDH Art Professor’s 20-Year Journey Results in First Local Showing of Film
  • 9:13 pm Free Speech or Free Hate area?
  • 9:08 pm CSUDH’s Best & Brightest Shine at Student Research Day
  • 9:05 pm Academic Senate Approves Gender Equity Task Force
  • 12:37 pm When Dr. Davis speaks, Toros Pay Close Attention
  • 3:38 pm Investing in the Future: Dr. Thomas A. Parham Reflects on the Past Eight Months and Contemplates​ the University’s Future
  • 3:24 pm Green Olive to Open By End of Feb; Starbucks Not Until Fall
  • 3:20 pm Gov. Newsom’s Proposed Budget Hailed for Extensive Funding Increases
  • 3:08 pm Out of the Classroom: Labor and Community Organizing Course Aims to Teach Students How to Organize for Social Justice
  • 2:54 pm The Other Route in Professional Sports
  • 9:02 am Hail to the New Chief, CSUDH President Thomas Parham
  • 3:36 pm Career Center Holds Major/Minor Fair
  • 5:34 pm After Unexpected Delay, Undocumented Becomes More Intimate Theatrical Production
  • 1:30 pm What to Expect When You’re Expecting New Buildings
  • 1:17 pm Peaches, Peaches, Peaches
  • 1:14 pm Bonner Crowned: The Fearless Leader
  • 1:10 pm A Legacy Defined: Cilecia Foster
  • 1:03 pm The Toros Sweep Stanislaus State, Start CCAA Championships 
  • 12:56 pm Year In Review: 2022-23 Toros Athletics 

Editor’s Note: This is the full version of the story that will run in the March 8 print of the CSUDH Bulletin

By Yeymy Garcia, Features Editor

The Love Doctor is In: Dr. Beverly Palmer Shares Her Insights on Why Love Works, and Why It Doesn’t

If you’re looking for love, wondering if your current love will last or is right for you, or just curious what all this love business is about, then you might want to pay attention to a notable member of our retired faculty, Dr. Beverly B. Palmer.

Dr. Palmer, a CSUDH emeritus psychology professor who taught here for 38 years, presented a sneak preview of her book, “Love Demystified: Strategies for a Successful Love Life” on Feb. 25 in Loker Student Union. The event, sponsored by the Psychology Club, the Psi Chi honor society, and the psychology department, allowed Palmer to share her knowledge on the science behind how love works, the red flags and positive qualities to look for in a partner, and how you can make a relationship better.

Dr. Beverly Palmer. Courtesy of Campus News Center, www.news.csduh.edu

But before we get to her presentation, a little about CSUDH’s resident love doctor. Dr. Palmer said the inspiration behind her research was growing up with a curious mind. As a single child, she said she always how things worked and became interested in human interactions when she did her dissertation at Ohio State University in 1969 during the Second Feminist Wave.

She wrote the first manuscript of “Love Demystified” in 1985, but then her publisher died. Palmer was so upset she stored her manuscript away and forgot about it until a few years ago while cleaning out her garage before her son got a chance to throw away her belongings.

“Love Demystified” was first called “LoveLife.” On her blog, “lovelifeprof.com,” she writes, “…this manuscript was a piece of crap. Yet, my editorial self could not let it go.” She re-wrote her book with updated research until her book was finally published in January 2018.

Dr. Palmer also began teaching full-time when she was in graduate school. She taught for 38 years at CSUDH and holds a lot of love for the campus and its students.

“I am grateful to DH and its students for giving me the platform that allows me to do this in-depth studying about love,” she said. “Because of the courses I taught and because of the general atmosphere. It’s really a sense of community.”

Even though Palmer is retired, she still took the time to come back to CSUDH and give students a little lesson on the science behind love.

The first thing Palmer revealed in her presentation last month were the stages of love: longing (wanting someone); oneness (you and your partner become one); vulnerability (fighting happens, and feelings are exposed); and empathy (will we last forever?)

“Dopamine and serotine made me do it” was the caption on one slide. Palmer explained that dopamine and serotine are responsible for the obsessing stage at the beginning of a relationship. It later becomes oxytocin, which causes bonding.

If you’re questioning whether you love your partner more than they love you, Palmer has two recommendations. One, send your partner a funny or cute animal video along with a picture of yourself. Two, do something exciting with your partner that will cause heightened arousal, like riding a roller coaster. What these things are trying to do is make your brain associate a feeling with you.

So, what are the red flags to look for in a relationship?

Some questions to ask yourself are:

  • Do they want to do things their way?
  • Do they get upset when others disappoint them?
  • Do they insist on being in charge?
  • Do they easily get jealous or suspicious?
  • Do they blame others when something goes wrong?
  • Do they bully or flatter people to doing what they want?

But you don’t have to wait to see if someone will be a good partner.

“Psychologists say you can predict if a relationship can last during the first few interactions,” Palmer said.

Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling are a few negative interactions to avoid.

The positive traits you should be looking for, Palmer said, are:  acceptance (unconditional love, valuing each other’s uniqueness, and accepting each other’s weaknesses instead of strengths), empathy (understanding their experience, motivations, and point of view. Even if you don’t agree with them), and appreciation (letting them know in any way you appreciate them).

At the end of the presentation, Palmer held a raffle for a signed copy of her book.

Deandra Davis, a psychology major, won the raffle. She was thrilled and enjoyed the presentation.

“I felt like she was talking to me,” said Davis. “I was like, ‘Have you been to my house?’”

Davis checked out the presentation because the topic of love fascinates her, and she also wanted to get tips on how to maintain her relationship of almost three years.

“I learned that I have to work on myself and not put too much pressure on him,” said Davis.

To learn more about what Dr. Palmer has to say about love, you can check out her book, “Love Demystified: Strategies for a Successful Love Life” and her blog, lovelifeprof.com.

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